Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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