I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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