ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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