There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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