So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
