she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
