bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
