Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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