I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
