Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
