First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
