Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I was not drunk enough for that final.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
