dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
