That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
