There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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