I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
