I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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