my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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