This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
