what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
