is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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