i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize