i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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