I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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