she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
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Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
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I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My bed smells like the plague
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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