Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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