It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
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Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
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Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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