If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
