everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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