my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He shit in the fireplace
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
