that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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