why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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