My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Randomize
