I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
