oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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