I'm drive I can fine osifer
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
