So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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