wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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