Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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