Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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