just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
