I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
tonight lets celebrate not being married
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
