but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
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It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize