it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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