I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize