You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I need help removing her.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
