Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
