everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
