Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
