i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
