And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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