I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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