im six kinds of drunk right now
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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