I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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