so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I can't put those talents on a resume
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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