I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
