White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
