found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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