I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
