I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
