so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
high people should be assigned attendants
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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