She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
